On TikTok, there was/is this trending hashtag called #maincharactervibes.

I don’t know what the original purpose was. And, as such, I never really hopped on it. I tend to stick to #mindset, #hope, #growth, things like that.

Anyways, the other day, I got the idea to give some tips for how to start becoming the main character in your own life! This is something I’ve struggled with over the years, being highly agreeable and with a tendency towards passivity in the presence of stronger personalities. It ended up being one of my more popular videos, so I decided to write it down!

Here are five ways to start becoming the main character in your own life!

Become a selector.

Don’t take whatever gets thrown at you, just because it’s coming to you. That includes people, invitations and any form of attention. I used to just take whatever people would give me. The result was me being in situations where I had no interest in being. Instead, start asking yourself: “Do I want this in my life?”

Remember why you’re *not* here.

Despite the shaming power of social media, you are not here to do what people expect you to do, want you to do, or think you should do. This may feel wrong because true kindness, service and love are often substituted by total capitulation of self. People will say it’s selfish for you to do what you like, but selfless for them to demand that you do what they like. Mathematicians are still working through how this checks out.

While you can/should do things for other people, that isn’t your entire life purpose. There’s a big difference.

Follow momentum, release outcome.

When you get an idea that really excites you, or makes you gasp, follow it! Even if little arises from that effort, you will produce something that you fully enjoy and reinforce the skill of following your intuition. Success is not determined by external reach, but by internal. All of my best ideas have come when I’ve followed this momentum.

Define a future that excites you.

If you don’t define a future, the world will define it for you. Intentionally creating a vision for the future that gets you up in the morning avoids default life settings. This is probably one of the biggest changes I’ve made in 2020 and has been hugely transformational.

Admit when you don’t like something.

Even if it’s not appropriate for you to say that you don’t like something in the moment, at least tell yourself that you don’t like it. This validates your opinions apart from other people and allows you to be honest at a basic level. Honesty with self increases honesty with others, and creates real self-confidence!

And that’s how you start becoming the main character in your own life. Not by encouraging Main Character Syndrome (an actual branch of narcissistic personality disorder), but by living a life by design not default, and truly enjoying it.

as ever, I hope it helps someone,

a.i.a.l.